Dominating the dancefloor, pouring your heart out at karaoke, getting deep and meaningful with friends…none of these require you to drink. The best things in life truly can be enjoyed without alcohol.
Today, let’s dive into loving life while sober: how can you tackle upcoming social events the sober way?
The Sober Social Landscape Today
Someone announcing they’re going sober is no longer as taboo, or uncommon, as it once was. These days, people of all generations are doing sober stints for various personal reasons, or even going teetotal.
Let’s look at two examples, to demonstrate just how diverse the sober community can be.
Example 1: Adam, 35
Adam has enjoyed drinking since he was old enough to go clubbing with his mates. He can’t remember a time he went to a social event and didn’t have at least a few beers. In fact, he even went viral for posting a TikTok about how much he thinks about a pint!
Recently, he heard his mate talk about being sober for the first time, and how it’s improved his sleep and his confidence. Not yet ready to go completely sober, Adam decided to do his first Dry January in the New Year, and he’s excited to see where it takes him.
Example 2: Georgia, 21
At the age of 16, Georgia started drinking, and this soon turned into heavy binge-drinking sessions, and a strong dependency on alcohol.
By the time she was 18, Georgia was in alcohol rehab. After an alcohol detox and intensive therapy programme, Georgia is committed to being teetotal, and attends sober events with her friends as she gets to enjoy herself without temptation.
The Challenges of Sober Celebrations
Alcohol is deep-rooted in the UK’s culture, so even if someone feels empowered to go sober, it’s possible they will face several challenges at sober events, such as:
Lack of choice
Though there are many fun alternatives to alcohol, such as trending mocktails, some venues won’t offer them, which can negatively affect the experience and the atmosphere for someone who’s sober.
Judgement
Judgement is never guaranteed, and in fact, many sober people rave about the fact they haven’t been judged for their decision to stop drinking.
However, it’s always a possibility that someone will judge another person for turning down alcohol, which can create a negative atmosphere.
Questions
In many environments, questions are pretty much guaranteed. For some people, it’s uncomfortable to have to either answer personal questions or turn them down.
Triggers
Being sober in an alcohol-focused setting can lead to all sorts of triggers arising, from the temptation of seeing and smelling alcohol to the experience of watching people lose their inhibitions.
Even in sober socials, it can be triggering to be reminded of your reasons for getting sober, or to compare your night out to previous nights out that involved drinking.
That being said, even people with previous substance use issues experience triggers in different ways and different intensities, so it’s important to learn your own triggers.
Practical Strategies for Enjoying Events Sober
As challenging as sobriety can be, there are many tips you can put into action to make the experience much more comfortable:
Invite close friends
For your first sober celebration, it’s always recommended to be with people you feel close to. Even if you’re surrounded by strangers, having one or two close friends nearby can make all the difference if you start to feel uncomfortable.
Mentally prepare
There are some things that are predictable about your first sober night out: you will most likely be asked questions, you will be around drunk people (unless it’s a sober-specific event), and you will most likely feel tired earlier.
Consider all of these things before you leave the house, and think about how they may make you feel. At the same time, get excited for your new lifestyle and think about all the benefits you may experience, from better sleep to better conversation!
Get an accountability partner
If you struggle with alcohol use, getting an accountability partner will help you to socialise with a lower chance of falling back into old habits. Whether the partner attends events with you or keeps in touch with you over the phone, they can be a crucial support when temptation arises.
Bring your own drinks
If you’re going to an event where drinking will be taking place, it’s always best to bring your own drinks to stay away from alcohol completely, and take control of what you’re consuming.
Can Sober Socialising Be Just as Fun?
Yes, of course sober socialising can be just as fun!
For a start, you’re 100% present. Creating memories just got a whole lot easier, as you won’t forget them the next day. Even being able to look around the room and feel completely focused can be incredibly grounding.
The decisions you make on a sober night out are fully your own, and the same can’t be said for a boozy evening. For example, you know that any initial friendships you make are genuine, romantic connections you feel are not influenced by alcohol, and so each positive moment feels much more authentic.
If there are particular activities you love doing, you can get involved with them in a much more committed way, whether it’s brunches, rock climbing, axe throwing, or hiking.
Being a Sober Ally at Events
If you’re hosting or attending an event where sober people will be, think about how you can be the best ally for them. You could:
Ask them what their boundaries are
The best way to find out how you can be an ally is to simply ask. Everyone has their own reasons for not drinking, their own triggers, and their own coping mechanisms, so simply asking about their boundaries shows a great deal of respect that many will appreciate.
Avoid interrogating them
You can check someone’s boundaries (e.g., “are you comfortable with me drinking near you?”) without interrogating them about why they’re sober, how much they used to drink etc. Be mindful of people’s comfort levels when discussing such a personal topic, and save the deep questions for people you are close to.
Offer alcohol-free options
There’s no better way to show you respect sobriety than to offer decent alcohol-free options, such as creative cocktails!
Don’t make alcohol the focal point of the event
For sober people to feel truly comfortable, they need to feel like they are just as welcome as the drinkers. To do that, make sure the event is more than just alcohol; whether you promote alcohol-free drinks, or offer fun non-drinking activities.
The Rewards of Sober Socialising
Sober socialising rewards you with the high life: joy and fulfilment without compromise.
When you get to enjoy yourself and drinking is removed from the equation, you can expect:
Stronger memories
It goes without saying that alcohol severely interferes with the memory, and it can lead to the best nights out being completely forgotten the next day. With sober socialising, this is much less likely to happen. Every valuable memory can be treasured for years to come.
Reliable friendships
Friendships made through alcohol are notoriously fragile. While some are strong, it’s common for these friendships to fall victim to things like hangxiety fallouts, drunk arguments, and insecurities.
On the other hand, the friends you make when sober are more likely to immediately align with your values, as you’ve chosen them while you are in your natural state, unaffected by substances.
Less social pressure
Drinking often comes with lots of social pressure, whether it’s to binge drink, out-drink others, or be a certain person when you’re drunk.
Sober socialising reduces this pressure. Often, sober communities are some of the most accepting communities you will come across, as everyone understands what peer pressure feels like and they do not want to perpetuate it.
No hangovers
Perhaps the best reward of sober socialising is no hangovers! No more feeling violently ill the next day, dealing with a crushing headache, or wondering how many people you offended and how badly.
The lack of hangovers is something many people report as being extremely relieving. It’s only once you no longer experience it that you can begin to understand just how bad it was.
Conclusion
No one needs alcohol to have fun. Your next sober celebration could be your favourite night out, and the bonus? You’re much more likely to remember it the next day.
References
[1] https://www.eastbasildonpcn.nhs.uk/news/dry-january/